Possibly the best triathlon poem in the world

Ode to Obsession

All Jack did each day was train, From social norms he would abstain. Triathlon was his total life, Surprise, surprise, he had no wife.

He thought that bikes and gels and things, Would give him all the joy life brings, But when Jack did a race and lost it, He took his bike – away he tossed it!

“What a foolish man I’ve been, To think triathlon is the dream, I’ll go and live a normal life, And nab myself a decent wife.”

He bagged Joan, a poultry-maid, And life became a trifle staid. He missed the buzz, the sense of thrill, His life revolved round chicken swill.

“These feathers irritate my nose, Triathlon needs a few more goes.” Just as Joan’s life was her chicks Jack needed his more active fix.

First race back and Jack got chicked! He felt a fuse inside him flip, The anger boiled him from inside Incensed he was, his damaged pride!

“Chickens here, chickens there Chicks and chicking everywhere! What’s a guy supposed to do When all he wants is first; it’s true!”

But Joan said “do not dwell on it, It’s not worth it, not one bit. There’s more to life than just the win Love conquers all” (vomit bin).

Jack looked at her and realised then She was indeed correct, again. From then they enjoyed sport and laughter And both were happy ever after.


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