July 29, 2015

Ode to Obsession

All Jack did each day was train,
From social norms he would abstain.
Triathlon was his total life,
Surprise, surprise, he had no wife.

He thought that bikes and gels and things,
Would give him all the joy life brings,
But when Jack did a race and lost it,
He took his bike – away he tossed it!

“What a foolish man I’ve been,
To think triathlon is the dream,
I’ll go and live a normal life,
And nab myself a decent wife.”

He ba...

March 2, 2015


I came upon a desert land

Betrothed in oil and lots of sand

I trekked the globe to race a tri

The aim to swim and bike and fly.

Alas I thought I hadn’t done

The work required to have the fun.

(That comes later in the year

When one’s love handles disappear…)

Anyway I tried to swim,

It didn’t work, despite a Hymn.

I called on God but He said “Nooo

Ah’ve more important things tae do”.

My corpse washed up upon the shore,

A beat up athlete on deaths do...

January 10, 2015

The First of Jan, it's New Year’s Day,
A lovely time for rest and play.
Maybe extended time in bed,
Nursing a touch of ‘tender head’.
A big roast lunch, a laze around,
Watching some old film you found.

But there’s a certain type of fool,
Who likes to go against these rules.
They think, “oh, what a good idea
To do the opposite of beer,
And do a tri at Arthur’s Seat
To prove that we are totes elite”.

These silly people, barely clad,

December 15, 2014


One day I ran and had a pain,
It went but then came back again.
I wondered what on Earth to do?
My hopes and dreams were down the loo.
I called a local physio,
He treated me: behold and lo!
He fixed me up, this magic guy,
And I no longer run, I fly.



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